The quest toward managing and maintaining an everlasting marital relationship
Many psychologists believe that the greatest predictor of a lasting marriage is a commitment to marriage itself. Of course, just knowing this won’t necessarily make your marriage last longer. But the right attitude will ensure that your partnership is a lifelong one. To maintain this attitude, remember that marriage is a relationship, not a possession. Yes, we do say “my wife” or “my husband,” but that simply sets boundaries for others outside your marriage to recognize and respect. Look at your marriage as the longest relationship you’ll ever experience on purpose. Then take a measure of your faith. The stronger it is, the more positively your faith will influence the way you cherish each other. Faith produces gracious attitudes and good behaviour. Along the pathway to marital fulfilment, the following tips have also been proven by many couples to be helpful:
Pix: The commitment towards a lifelong marital relationship begins with a vow… / Marriage.com
- Go beyond words. Smiles and hugs help your spouse know that your “I love you” is genuine. The warmth of a caring embrace generates a sense of acceptance and worth.
- Don’t be proud. Deny yourself the satisfaction of gloating. Without fail, it creates resentment. If you do start in that direction, apply the brakes at once and make a U-turn.
- Drop the sarcasm. Cleverness slides all too easily into sarcasm, which can be deadly to a healthy marriage.
Communication is an area that deserves special attention. Counsellors often hear clients complain, “We just can’t communicate!” Actually, that isn’t the case. We can’t not communicate. We may be negative in the messages we send, but send them we will. Given that fact, you can make strides toward discovering and using helpful signals with your spouse. Take inventory of the messages you’re sending and select the ones that bring happy results. While you’re at it, you can discard the unproductive ones. None of this is complicated. But husbands and wives who’ve made a journey of many years together know that marriage is nothing less than a commitment.
This article was published with permission from Focus on the Family Malaysia. If you liked this article and would like to go deeper, we have some helpful resources at: www.family.org.my