Is That a Weed in My Marriage? – by Focus on the Family Malaysia


Managing a marital relationship is akin to household gardening!




Like weeds that crowd our garden beds, we need to uproot the little annoyances in a marriage before they grow too large and crowd out marital love and harmony.


Pix: Household gardening helps improve marital relationships via team work and partnerships




Tend the garden


It is an unromantic yet undeniable truth that relationships need maintenance. It’s easier to pull weeds on a regular basis than to wait till they are overgrown. Seemingly innocuous weeds can ruin your garden; neglecting time for physical intimacy; using a harsh tone; refusing to compromise on small issues; allowing routine to dull the passion and adventure of marriage. Pull these up as soon as you can. But pull gently, speaking the truth with much love, as yanking out a weed leaves a hole that will have to be smoothed out and filled later.



The strong bond of a marriage is often synonymous with the fertility & fecundity of the soil



Enrich the soil


Little courtesies nourish a growing marriage. We often lavish them on our spouse during courtship and the early days of marriage, but we may use them too sparingly as the years go by. Say “please,” “thank you” and “you’re welcome.” Open the door for her. Greet him with joy when he comes home. Complement one another sincerely. Acknowledge the unique contributions you each make to your home. A generous dose of kindness will keep your garden healthy and productive.




Water the flowers


Deliberately focus on what’s right with your marriage. He snores like a freight train, but he’s a wonderful dad. She’s not a great cook, but she never overspends. Overlook small annoyances, and remember the positives. Let go of issues that will not matter to you tomorrow. Sprinkle the plants you want to thrive with grace, forgiveness and also gratitude.



It generally takes two to tango in a marriage – the same also applies to home gardening too!




This article was published with permission from Focus on the Family Malaysia. If you liked this article and would like to go deeper, we have some helpful resources at: www.family.org.my